The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Or What I Call The Stupid Or The Wise

By Tim Connor

From the outset let me be clear – I am including myself in all of the stupid categories that follow. Some I have finally learned to successfully manage and a few of them I am still struggling to get out of the stupid column and into the wise column. There, I’ve said it – now can we move on? So, just in case you didn’t get it – I’m not preaching here just “splainin myself” remember him? If not, Google splainin to do or splainin myself. OK, on to the point of this article – what qualifies for stupid stuff in life and why do we all keep doing it? I’ll leave the opposite of them (wise stuff) up to you to figure out how to get out of the stupid column (if you are in it) and into the wise one.

To keep this short and concise I am not going to list every stupid life, career, business, spiritual or relationship category, but what I feel are just a few of the ones that cause the most life havoc and pain and tend to be repeated far too often by many of us (again – I include myself in this group). I have also not put them in any order of importance since I couldn’t find any credible research on them, as a group. So, here they are;

Decision making – repeated mistakes – Expecting different results from repeated behavior is a sign of insanity. Ever heard that one? Well, how about – expecting different results from repeated decisions – is the same – insane or stupid. It’s not always the decision that’s stupid but how it is implemented, expectations we have because of it or just having an inactive wait and see attitude after they are made. The decision is only one of the many steps when it comes to the decision process. If you keep making bad decisions, trust me – you will keep getting bad or uncertain outcomes.

Time use – Ever waited in line for a long time? Ever been on hold on a telephone call forever? Ever waited a week for a response to an email or text? Ever sat in traffic every morning for longer than necessary on your way to work? These examples are too numerous to keep going but the rationale is always the same – “I don’t have any other options or choices – I’m just stuck.” Sorry, there are better options in every potential “time-wasting scenario” – we might not always like them or be comfortable with them, but, they always exist. Don’t believe me – here are two – Try a different route to work. Leave for work earlier. Get a different job. Retire. Quit. Carpool. Take the bus. OK, how about the email or text. Call them. Visit them. Take them off your list of contacts. Set some communication rules or guidelines.

I will guarantee you waste a minimum, of 3-4 hours every day in some way that could be better used if you just got creative.

Life lived – Someday I’ll. When I am smarter I will. When I meet the right person, I will. I will give this situation or person another year to change. I’m too old. I’m too young. I’m too inexperienced. I’m not good enough. Please save me from these idiots. The right time for anything is never the right time. What makes anything the right time is not who, what or when but – you taking action, finding courage or faith, surrendering or anything that gets you to stop hoping, wishing and dreaming and start moving, acting or doing.

Emotions – worry, regret, blame etc. – Regrets weigh tons, blame is stupid, and worry is life’s biggest waste of energy and mental effort. So, why do so many people live with these and many other negative emotions – why have I? Stupid. In hindsight every time I did any of these plus any others – jealousy, anger, disappointment, anxiety etc. I realized that when I did any of them, I temporarily turned the quality of my life and time over to others and then realized I was giving people I often even didn’t control over me – stupid.

Success and failure – Success is not a guarantee and failure can’t be avoided. Disagree? OK – have you succeeded at everything you have tried? If you have I’ll wager you are in denial or haven’t tried much. Never failed at anything? Again, I’ll bet you have always played it safe. Either approach is dumb. The only way you can ever succeed at anything is to risk, step outside your comfort zone or try something new and when you do – there is never a guarantee it will work or that it won’t. Successful people have failed, and failures never learn from their failures so tend to repeat them.

Ego and arrogance – it’s all about you – The world does not revolve around you no matter how much you want it to or think it does. People with ego’s that dominate their lives spend a great deal of time wondering, in confusion, disappointed, frustrated and angry and why? They need, no, they require control. Sorry folks, not going to happen so if you are letting your ego rule your life, just accept that you’ll never be really happy, truly happy, content, no matter how much you have or inner peace until the world and everything and everyone in it behave according to your rules expectations, demands etc. Good luck.

Well, how’d you do in these six areas? Need to do some work to get into the wise column?

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